Last Updated on November 8, 2022 by Rebecca Huff
Emotional upheaval and heartbreak can be caused by various situations such as the end of a romance, death of a loved one, a wayward child, or the betrayal of a friend. Whatever the cause, emotional outbursts such as crying your eyes out or a heated argument can really take it out of you.
A broken heart is very similar to grief. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance are the seven stages of grief that most of us go through when dealing with grief or heartache. The more often you choose to let it go, the faster you will work through your grief.
When I find myself in the midst of heartbreak in any form, it takes a serious toll on my body. Those of you who live with chronic illness may understand what I mean when I say that when my heart is broken it is contagious. The rest of my body becomes infected with heartbreak as well.
My entire body feels heavy, my muscles ache, my eyes burn, and my energy stores are depleted. All my willpower is needed to keep myself from just going to bed in the middle of the day. Sound familiar? If so, read on for practical suggestions that will help you recover quicker.
Let it go – release the tears
First, if you're holding back, go ahead and cry it out. You'll release As I say sometimes to myself when I am about to burst into tears “release the Kraken!” haha I say this so much that my 10-year-old daughter finally looked it up to see what a Kraken was.
Crying detoxifies the body. Believe it or not, emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins. So release them! You don't want to keep all those stressy-toxins inside yourself.
Crying also releases oxytocin which is an endorphin that helps ease physical and emotional pain. Which is why it's best to just get it out of your system, and also why we need to refrain from telling others, “don't cry.”
Crying can improve your mood due to the fact that sobbing brings in cooler air which helps to regulate your brain temperature. Emotional balance is restored in part, by the release of tears. So go ahead, “Release the Kraken!”
Start with your head
By this, I mean support brain function with some essential fatty acids such as walnuts, flaxseeds, or even a supplemental EPA/DHA or Krill oil. Check with your doctor before supplementing with any fish oil as it can act as a blood thinner.
Magnesium is a super supplement for helping to calm and soothe the heartbroken. When emotional distress keeps you from getting a good night's sleep, turn to Magnesium first. Taking Magnesium in combination with Calcium…
Get back your energy
Folate and Vitamin B12 work together to benefit our nervous system. Taking these two nutrients together can support your time healing. If I am emotionally imbalanced, I reach for a good B complex that contains these two nutrients. Besides, a Vitamin B12 deficiency can lead to depression and fatigue.
Vitamin D with K2 is a key nutrient for our immune system support as well as the nervous system. Depression can often be traced back to low Vitamin D levels. So make sure to keep your levels in check. My doctor checks my vitamin D levels at least twice per year.
Ginger can really help if your broken heart or crying too much has caused you to feel nauseated. The immune boosting power of ginger can also help to keep you from getting sick when stress kicks your immune system down a notch.
Lavender can help to suppress the impact of pathogens headed to cause disaster. Diffusing lavender essential oil can help to alleviate worry and can relax the nervous system. This is especially useful when emotional distress causes one to lose appetite.
Lemon Balm can help the heartbroken get much-needed sleep when nervous tension is causing insomnia.
Skullcap has the unique ability to keep us from overthinking a situation. When we experience heartache, it is common to ruminate on what we could have done differently, however, this prolongs the healing process. Overthinking keeps us from focusing on other aspects of our lives that need our attention.
Try to avoid the urge to Eat Your Emotions
Stuff your emotions with food that is bad for you. Processed foods and sugar-laden treats can worsen feelings of fatigue and depression. Even if you don't feel like it, feed yourself healthy food. Yes, it's okay to eat some comfort foods, just avoid the temptation to do it nonstop the entire time you are healing.
Part of self-care is paying attention to your mental health. Giving up on your goals of eating healthy to just let go and eat things you believe to be bad for your health isn't worth the momentary relief.
Practice self-love by “treating” yourself to a healthy juice, smoothie or salad and then pat yourself on the back for your ability to move forward. Caring for yourself during a hard time will get you one step closer to getting through the grieving process. It will also leave you healthier for future relationships.
I know you don't want to think about that right now and you don't have to. Still, any psychotherapist worth their degree will encourage you to recover and then leave the possibility for future romantic relationships open.
When possible these tips may also help:
Acupuncture can be helpful for coping with pain, stress, and inflammation. If you've never tried Traditional Chinese Medicine, it might help to do a little research on the benefits. Tai Chi and QiGong are both very beneficial for helping to balance the mood and calm emotions.
Laughter is so healing, so watch a hilarious stand-up comedian or a funny movie. Do whatever it takes to get yourself to chuckle, at the very least, to crack a smile.
Talk Therapy – Seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist can be really helpful when it comes to dealing with heartache. Just getting your thoughts together and sharing them with someone who will not judge you in any way is so impactful.
Exercise – Many people going through a heartbreaking experience find relief in exercise. Countless women (and men) discover the gym is amazing for releasing anger and frustration! In fact, try martial arts, such as Taekwondo as well.
Take a mini vacation even if only for a day or two, just to gain a refreshing change of scenery. Changing your environment can also help simply because it breaks up the monotony of what you've already been dealing with and gives your brain another distraction. This is especially beneficial if you are dealing with a romantic breakup. Eat at new places, try different foods, mix things up as much as you can.
Design the life you love. Create a timeline of events, goals, and experiences you want to have and start making plans to accomplish them one by one.
Seek help from relationship experts
A psychotherapist will help you get through the pain of a breakup by sorting your emotions. You may want to join a support group.
Creating new routines, starting new hobbies, and reaching out to family members during this time can also help heal your broken heart. Just make sure that your support system is made up of people you can truly trust during a difficult time.
You may want to skip social media for a time while you focus on your own needs.
Believe in yourself
Bring your dreams back to life. Did you dream of opening a cat cafe or a beauty boutique? Why not use your pain to fuel your dreams? As you heal, pay attention to the little reminders of your hopes and dreams from the past. Use this time to discover yourself again.
In the end, whether it takes weeks, months, or years, eventually our broken hearts do mend. Keep reminding yourself that “this too shall pass.”
Focus on your own well-being and heal any emotional wounds from the past. In my experience, I believe if I'd taken the time to focus on wellness both of mind and body, I might have avoided some of my heartbreak in the first place.
However, looking back with regret can only be as useful as the lessons you learn from the past. Don't spend time dwelling on it without working on the emotional healing process.