Growing up, people frequently asked how my sister and I could be so different. That is something that I often wondered myself until I spent years unraveling my childhood scripts with Dr. J.
Childhood scripts are also known as Life Scripts and are subconscious creations of our childhood. Eric Berne developed the theory of life scripts in the 60s. For the most part, we are unaware that we are writing them or that they even exist.
“A Life Script is a set of childhood decisions made unconsciously by a person in response to parental messages about self, others, and the world. These decisions are influenced by the child's perception and interpretation of what's happening around him.”
If you've ever wondered how two children can grow up in the same house, with the same parents, and end up as opposites, now you know!
The key to understanding all of this is that kids may get the same message, yet each interprets that message differently. That is because these childhood scripts are more about interpretation than the actual message.
Parental messages are only one way we acquire childhood scripts
Here's a message my dad gave us, “do it right or don't do it at all.”
Me: Try harder; execute everything flawlessly; otherwise, I'm a failure.
My sister: Don't bother, it's a waste of time.
This interpretation is just one small example of how childhood scripts can dictate how you behave in your adult life. The messages can be much more crippling than the example given here.
Don't despair; these childhood scripts do not have to be a permanent part of your existence. They do not have to be a reality. Although, when these scripts run through your mind, they feel very real. You can challenge these scripts, and eventually, change them.
Rewriting Childhood Scripts
Jennifer Noel Taylor is here to explain how you can separate yourself from these scripts and see them as an observer rather than trying to talk yourself out of the scripts.
As you witness your childhood scripts, you will become more objective about them. Jennifer mentions using shopping to deal with her emotions. In her example, she “catches” herself on Amazon, looking for another pair of shoes to add to the thirty in her closet.
In this example, Jennifer shows us how she observes herself in these scripts:
- You're not pretty enough
- You don't deserve love
Jennifer explains how she nurtures herself using positive self-talk and how she deals with thoughts of those experiences that led her to these beliefs. She has learned to rewrite these scripts.
Understand and Rewrite Your Childhood Scripts
Understanding your childhood scripts empowers you to change them. Once you recognize these scenarios (or as I call them replaying records), you can unravel, interpret differently, and even rewrite or consciously choose a separate course of action and get a different outcome.
- Identify the emotion
- Unravel the feeling starting from the last time you felt it, to as far back as you can remember until you arrive at the first time you felt this way.
- Recognize the life script
- Rewrite the script as an adult, base your new writing on what you know now, as an adult.
- Practice the new script every time the emotion presents itself.
All of this is easier said than done, of course! Seeking professional help to support you in unraveling your childhood scripts so that you can make meaningful changes is a smart decision. While it may take courage, the results are worth the risk of being momentarily uncomfortable.
Jennifer Noel Taylor
This was Jennifer's second time on A Healthy Bite Podcast, listen to her first episode, How to Stop Struggling with Money and Live Your Purpose, we discussed her book Spiritual and Broke.
Jennifer Noel Taylor, an energy healing practitioner, self-help motivator, and the CEO of Quantum-Touch, Inc. She has dedicated her life work to helping people discover the healing power of their love.
Jennifer graduated from Cal Poly (San Luis Obispo, CA) with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Computer Science and a Minor in Philosophy. After graduation, she started her first job as a Software Engineer at a big company in San Diego. Like so many people, she felt incredibly trapped and depressed at a job that paid the bills but didn’t align with her true passion in life. She innately knew that she had a purpose and felt keenly aware that she was not following her true calling in life.
To cope with the social isolation and depression she felt at work, she studied bodywork and alternative healing. She attended the International Professional School of Bodywork, Esalen Institute in Big Sur, and the Maui Academy of Healing Arts. While working on people, she started to feel the “energy fields” emanating from people. She became fascinated by energy healing and studied various energy healing modalities, including Reiki.